Beyond Measure
by Heartbreak-Angel
Summary: Edward thinks about his life and how undeserving he is of everything, but has learned to accept it. But not without wanting to repay the one person that made it all happen: Bella. One-Shot; Inspired by the song Beyond Measure by Jeremy Camp.


AN: Alright so this is my first attempt at fanfiction, don't be too cruel lol. This was inspired by the song "Beyond Measure" by Jeremy Camp. It's all in Edward's POV. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters. Heck i dont even own the song lol.

* * *

_The fog has finally cleared to see,  
The beautiful life you've given me  
To feel the breeze of my newborn's gentle breath  
With one to walk hand in hand,  
To share this life that you have planned  
It's like a storybook with dreams  
That are meant to see every next step is an extraordinary scene  
_

There she is, my angel sent to me from heaven. She is my reason for living, my happiness and my hope. I knew I could not live without her. I love her so much. She makes me think that perhaps I'm not as monstrous as I think I am, for the simple reason that someone as innocent as her would not be fated to love a monster. She was my everything... until today that is.

I looked over at my beautiful Bella, still tired from giving birth to my perfect little miracle, Nathan Alexander Cullen. My son born today at precisely 2:36am had ten fingers, ten toes, and a head full of silky bronze hair...as soon as I saw him I knew, I couldn't live without my little man in my life either. I wondered what I had done to deserve them both, sometimes it was still so hard believe they were both mine. I held my son closer to my unbeating heart and listened closely to his gentle breathing. "He's so perfect Bella. Thank you so much for bringing him into the world. You've given me more then I could've ever deserved. I love you" I whispered to my wife. She just shook her head and smiled softly "Edward, you deserve this and every moment of happiness we could ever wish for. There's so much for us to look forward to. Watching little Nathan take his first steps, say his first words, his first day of school... and you what the best part is? We'll be together, all three of us, forever. And by the way, I love you too, more then you'll ever know". I smiled at her words. It was so like her to tell me something like that, and while I had my son in my arms, and the love of my life by my side, I couldn't disagree.

_I know that I've been,  
Given more than beyond measure,  
I come alive when,  
I see beyond my fears  
I know that I've been given more than earthly treasure,  
I come alive when  
I've broken down and given you control_

I had always thought that I didn't deserve happiness, considering what I was. I was always afraid to accept anything good out of fear of having it taken away from me unexpectedly. After all, why would God care to send me a miracle? Anything that happened to cross my way that made me happy was clearly meant for someone else, and I just got in the way. At first that's what I thought happened with Bella. I thought she was on this earth to love another man, a more deserving man. Now I realize though, she was put on this earth to love me, to show me that I can be happy. To show me that God hasn't given up on me yet. She makes me feel more alive than I have in my entire existence. I can't imagine where I'd be now if I hadn't given in to my love for her, if I hadn't given control of my heart over to the light in my darkness.

_I've faced a great tragedy,  
But have seen the works of what you bring  
A display of faith that you give,  
I don't know if I will ever understand  
The depth of what it is you've done inside,  
But I know that I will won't find any worth apart from you_

My time with her wasn't all sunshine and lollipops though. We've had our fair share of pain and hurt. I can't believe I used to be so stupid. When I left Bella after her 18th birthday it nearly killed us both, literally. That time we spent apart was absolutely horrific and I hope to never put her through that again. I thought I was keeping her safe, and when I thought she had died... My world shattered into a million pieces. I always knew I couldn't live without Bella, however it was that moment that I knew how true that statement was. I couldn't think of anything else but joining her in the afterlife... hoping I could at least see her for just a moment to tell her I was sorry.

I was so ready to commit the vampire equivalent of suicide that it just confirmed everything I already knew. Isabella Marie Swan will be the only woman in my heart. Without her, I was nothing but a shell.

She's saved me from myself on more than one occasion, and she's shown me so much faith and love over the years, it doesn't seem to end.

_Everything that I have  
Has been given so unselfishly  
And shown that even when I don't deserve  
You always show the fullness of your love_

Everything she's given me I can't live without. Her love, her unselfishness, the way she forgets to breathe when I kiss her passionately, and now she's given me a child of my own flesh. I couldn't comprehend how she could do this all the time. Her ability to show her capacity to love at its optimum level all the time astounds me. I always feel the need to repay her and the only thing she asks for is my love. I don't know how to show her that compared to everything she's given me, my love is nothing. But I have all of eternity to show her that I too can be as loving and wonderful as her.

I look back down at my son and saw that he was sleeping peacefully against my ice cold skin. I laughed softly wondering how he and Bella both seem to find my cold skin comforting. Leaning back in my chair I close my eyes and thank God for sending me Bella and for giving me my son.


End file.
